3 posts tagged “food”

I weighed two pounds less this morning than I did yesterday morning.

AND

Don't believe the hype - the so called pain relief formula of Neosporin is a bunch of lies.  LIES!

I picked up something like six pounds between Vegas and the OC/camping combo weekend.  It was not a good feeling.  I decided to detox myself on a diet of my own creation.  (Do these last few sentences sound like a Wesley Willis song to anyone else?) After about 12 hours on said diet, I decided to find out what an actual detox diet looks like - here are some highlights:

Your plan can include:

• Fruit – your plan can include any fruit including fresh, frozen, dried or canned in natural fruit juice. This includes apples, bananas, pears, oranges, grapefruit, satsumas, sultanas, raisins, pineapple, mango, kiwi fruit, strawberries, raspberries, blackcurrants, nectarines, peaches, melons, star fruit etc
   
• Fruit juice – either make homemade fruit juices or smoothies from fresh fruit, or drink ready-made juices. Make sure ready-made juices are labelled as being ‘pure’ or ‘unsweetened’.
   
• Vegetables – eat any vegetables including fresh, frozen or canned in water (without salt added). This includes carrots, onions, turnip, swede, sprouts, cabbage, peppers, mushrooms, sweetcorn, peppers, leeks, courgettes, broccoli, cauliflower, salad, tomatoes, cucumber, spring onions etc
   
• Beans and lentils – eat any beans, including those that have been dried or canned in water. This includes red kidney, haricot, cannellini, butter, black eye, pinto, red lentils, green lentils and brown lentils
   
• Tofu and Quorn
   
• Oats – sprinkle oats over fresh fruit or use to make porridge, sweetened with honey and fresh fruit
   
• Potatoes – all types
  
  
• Brown rice and rice noodles
   
• Rye crackers, rice cakes and oatcakes
   
• Fresh fish – eat any fresh fish including cod, plaice, mackerel, salmon, lobster, crab, trout, haddock, tuna, prawns, Dover sole, red mullet, halibut, lemon sole, monkfish, swordfish etc. Canned fish in water is suitable too eg salmon or tuna
  
  
• Unsalted nuts – eat any including Brazil, peanuts, almonds, cashew, hazel nuts, macadamia, pecans, pine nuts, pistachio, walnuts etc
   
• Unsalted seeds – eat any including sunflower and pumpkin
  
  
• Plain popcorn – without sugar or salt
  
  
• Live natural yoghurt
  
• Extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar
  
• Garlic, ginger and fresh herbs
   
• Ground black pepper
   
• Honey
  
  
• Water – at least 2 litres a day. Tap or mineral water is fine.
  
  
• Herbal or fruit teas

Foods to avoid during your detox

• Red meat, chicken, turkey and any meat products like sausages, burgers, and pate
  
  
• Milk, cheese, eggs, cream
  
  
• Butter and margarine
  
  
• Any food that contains wheat including bread, croissants, cereals, cakes, biscuits, pies, pastry, quiche, battered or breadcrumbed foods, etc
  
  
• Crisps and savoury snacks including salted nuts
  
  
• Chocolate, sweets, jam and sugar
  
  
• Processed foods, ready meals, ready-made sauces and takeaways
  
  
• Alcohol
  
  
• Coffee and tea
  
  
• Sauces, pickles, shop bought salad dressing, mayonnaise
  
  
• Salt
  
  
• Fizzy drinks and squashes, including diet versions

- from this site

Yeah, no.  I must have coffee, my coffee must have milk, I'm an incorrigible Diet Pepsi addict (sorry, Atlantans), and I abhor fish.  So what's a girl to do?  Eat whole grain cereal for breakfast, a raw veggie wrap with hummus and cheese on a whole wheat tortilla for lunch, and then two chicken burgers on ordinary white flour kaiser rolls for dinner.  I'm refusing to call it a failure yet - I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday.  I figure, I stay off of alcohol and super processed foods and out of restaurants for a while and I should be golden.  Come to think of it, that's what I should be doing anyway.

Aside from the attempts to right the horrible horrible gluttonous fantastic eating, I'm nursing literal wounds left from Thursday night which have nothing to do with the cute trumpeteer.  I wore some fantastically cute shoes to the show, which created some fantastically large blisters on the tops of each of my feet.  If they weren't so painful they'd be really fascinating.

I hate Sandra Lee.  I hate tablescapes.  I HATE semi-homemade cooking.  I can't even explain how much I dislike the entire existence of her show.  The only redeeming factor about it is how she has a cocktail for every episode.  I do however wish that someone would tell homegirl that the act of pouring her weekly alcoholic creation into a martini glass does not a martini make.

But damn, I will watch Mick and Mimi hawk the Magic Bullet to their crazy sex fiend friends once they've all awakened and gathered in the kitchen (in my own little world, their breakfast time demo is taking place the morning after a creepy poolside orgy - I have no clue where it came from, but I can see it - Berman scares me, not in a good way) over and over again.  I have been so close to ordering this thing 15 times, even though I know I'll never use it.  I'd much rather eat "deconstructed pesto" (wherein whole basil leaves are torn and shards of parmesan are peeled off the block with a veggie peeler and added to pasta with some toasted pine nuts) than put all the ingredients into a Magic Bullet and make a proper sauce.  I don't like frozen drinks (except for the 8 levels of awesome frozen margaritas at the Frontier), I never make muffins, or salsa, I'm not a big omelet eater, and I let the good folks at Starbucks grind my beans for me when I buy them.  I have zero reasons to buy one of these things, but damn it would make my life at least some level of complete.

Until it ended up in the bag for the thrift store, and even then I'd have a different level of complete that came from getting an unused appliance out of the kitchen and on to someplace where it can use up someone else's counter space.